Missing Afghanistan: When the time comes to say goodbye

Missing Afghanistan:

When the time comes to say goodbye

Pioneering programmes, new personnel, exciting news. These are the stories you usually hear from BMS World Mission. Today, BMS worker Rory* reflects on leaving a much loved nation after two decades, and what it’s like to say goodbye.

Of things we know we’ll miss about Afghanistan, and the culture, and the way things are done… it’s the people. Friends. And I think that slightly more random way of doing things, maybe. You don’t realise how flexible or reactive you’ve become until you come back somewhere, where, if I want to go and see my brother, he’s got to get his diary out and tell me when, three weeks from now, they’re next free. Whereas if your brother came to see you in Afghanistan, you literally drop everything and make some soup. And they stay with you for as long as they want. I think [we’ll miss] that level of open generosity and flexibility and willingness to stop what you’re doing because of people.

BMS worker in Afghanistan, saying goodbye

When it comes to new projects… you have this vision, and you know ‘this is something God’s put in my heart to do’… and you do plant a few things, and not everything comes up. Sometimes, you just have to let go and step back, and just let things either grow or kind of fade away – and say, ‘what God wills will continue’, and trust that. Because there is a lot of what we do, even with the best intentions, that is really driven by our own human ambition or ego or experience. God works in partnership with us as we try and achieve things – and God is very adaptable and flexible – he’s not depending on us to get things right, otherwise it would all fail.

When tough things happen… you don’t know whether what feels to you like a bad thing is actually from the hand of God, or whether it’s something God is allowing to happen for a purpose of bringing about good, or teaching you. It’s like Joseph when he was in prison, saying: ‘Other people meant it for bad, but God intended it for good’.

In terms of moments of joy, where things were made possible… there’s been a lot. Catherine*, my wife, has been part of trying to set up a mental health project, in the kind of context of mountain villages that you see in Life’s First Cry.

BMS worker in Afghanistan, saying goodbye

She wanted to get this really professional team from a major city to work with our little village team, and between them, they’ve come up with their own idea of what rural mental health outreach looks like. That synergy between these two teams that we’ve been working with for a long time, developing them, has meant they have been able to get together during this Covid year, in the absence of [many of us being with them] on the ground. Encouraged and enabled by us, they’re creating a new thing to meet serious, huge needs, of drug addiction, youth suicide and depression and just hopelessness. All these sorts of things afflict families in ultra-poor parts of the world anywhere, but particularly Afghanistan, with the violence overlay from the conflict on top of it. So that’s been a real positive, even coming out of this year. I was not so much surprised, but just impressed and glad that the local leadership stepped up, took charge, and took responsibility for some really tough decisions during the last year.

BMS worker in Afghanistan, saying goodbye

Some of the standouts for me have been… making the film of Life’s First Cry. That was super fun. But also, the way we just turned up in village after village and got these true stories from people without any priming, just hearing genuine stuff where people’s lives and children had been saved. That was just such a tribute to the village team in what they’d been able to achieve, with willing helpers in the villages to help teach the material.
Another one was a drought recovery programme, bringing decent wheat into places where they had to eat their seed reserves over the winter, and they didn’t have anything to replant. Being able to see people’s livelihoods coming back and them actually having surplus crops again – that was really good.

As today’s story illustrates, while the right time may come for our workers to leave a country, they never truly say goodbye. Rory and Catherine are confident that the team they’ve left behind in Afghanistan will continue where they’ve left off, but there is still much need there. They’ve asked us to go on praying for Afghanistan, for its people, and for the friends they’ve left behind:

  • Pray for peace, and for people to be able to live at peace with each other. Pray for some level of actual justice and reconciliation to go on.
  • Pray for rain and snow at the right time, and people not to suffer the extra hit of a famine and then loss of food.
  • And keep praying for the people who get named in the news, but for all the unknown people as well who are trying to do some good.
BMS worker in Afghanistan, saying goodbye
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Words by Hannah Watson, Editor of Engage, the BMS World Mission Magazine.
*Names changed.

Surviving lockdown: tips from Afghanistan

Surviving lockdown:

tips from Afghanistan

After weeks of uncertainty and limited human contact, you might be struggling to cope with lockdown. But here’s the good news – this too shall pass. In the meantime, we caught up with some lockdown pros to get their top tips for surviving (and maybe even thriving) in isolation.

If you’re a foreigner living in Afghanistan, being on lockdown isn’t wholly unusual. In fact, it’s often scheduled in. Big political rally happening? Stay at home. Elections? No-one is leaving their compounds. At other times, it comes out of the blue, when violence erupts unexpectedly and being an expat on the street is just asking for trouble.

I spent 12 months living in Afghanistan, and I saw just how seriously BMS World Mission’s partner in the country takes the security of its whole team. As an extrovert adapting to a new life with many more restrictions, I learnt a lot from my teammates who are adept at living through times of lockdown. I thought you might like to learn from them too, so I got back in touch and asked them for their advice for you.

Lockdown survival tips

1. Spend time with God

BMS worker Rose* has years of experience living through lockdowns – though up until now they’d all been in Afghanistan, rather than England. This is the first time she has had such a plethora of ways to keep in touch and internet resources at her fingertips. “I used to spend lockdowns carefully conserving phone or hand-held radio battery power because of limited electricity, which meant keeping communication short and essential!” says Rose.

With fewer distractions in previous lockdowns, prioritising time with God may have been easier for Rose than it is for us. But that’s still her top tip. “Use the down-time and peace (assuming that is possible) to really seek God and spend time with him,” she says. “That’s a good investment, though it takes self-discipline.”

New to structured prayer times? Why not start with the BMS Prayer Guide?

2. Board games. All the board games.

Development expert Tim* has just one top tip – but it’s a good one! If you’re blessed to be isolating with other people, grab a board game or a pack of cards and enjoy each other’s company while keeping your mind active with a bit of strategy and competition. If you’re on your own — there’s lots of games you can play with family and friends over a video call! (The number of times I lost obscure board games to Tim suggests that he definitely practices what he preaches when it comes to this tip… )

There’s loads of online games you can play with friends virtually in this season. A couple of personal favourites include the word game Taboo and team strategy game Codenames!

3. Seek balance and space

After more than a decade living in Afghanistan, Catherine* (who heads up BMS’ mental health work in the country) has learned that balance is key to keeping family harmony and happiness during prolonged times of isolation. “We’re managing to enjoy being together, and getting enough time without people to be happy, by balancing planned and spontaneous activities like special food, TV, looking at old pictures and that sort of thing.” She also suggests having some meals apart, with each family member making and having their meal when they want, so that they sometimes have the freedom to be alone and eat in peace.

Catherine is also benefitting from the perks of empowering her teenage children — if you also have teenagers perhaps you can follow suit and put your feet up! “I would highly recommend putting kids in charge of all food arrangements — I’ve just got to task shift the actual grocery shopping to them too and my life will be easy… !”

We think our Afghan houses look normal, and then we come back to the UK and realise they don't.
Sometimes, it snows. A lot.

Pray for Afghanistan

Reports this week warned that a third of Afghanistan’s population, including 7.3 million children, are now at risk of food shortages. On top of that, the country’s health system is ill-equipped to deal with the Coronavirus pandemic, and people are very afraid. Please pray with us for the people of Afghanistan as they face yet another threat, after decades of insecurity and war.

Right now, we’re providing mental health support for patients infected with Coronavirus in Afghanistan, as well as for their families and the medical staff treating them. This is crucial to helping to stop the spread of the virus. You can help patients with Covid-19 in the country by giving to the BMS Coronavirus appeal.

The BMS World Mission Coronavirus appeal logo on a black background with a white cross and pink and purple tiles.

4. Take it day by day, and hour by hour

Green-fingered BMS worker Ruby* thinks it’s important not to be too hard on yourself — this is a difficult time, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Her advice? “Break your day down into sections. I usually use the hour marker for my time and I only focus on that hour, not all that I need to do in the days ahead.

“I have a very low concentration ability unless I’m doing something practical so, mix things up if you are the same. Mix computer work for an hour with a puzzle or some gardening.”

We're very thankful for outside space during extended lockdowns – and so are the kids.
Our team tries to make the most of the Afghan sunshine, running off solar power where we can.

5. Make it fun!

To distract her young children from the potential dangers outside, mum-of-two Jenny* finds ways to make lockdowns fun. And it’s not just the children who benefit — as her former next-door neighbour, I can confirm that the adults also very much enjoyed this approach to lockdown!

Planning to cook a pizza? Why not make it a pizza party?! Going to make a pie? Let’s call it a pie down and make it a bit of a competition! Renaming things and making mealtimes exciting can make days in lockdown memorable rather than monotonous. “Plan something fun,” says Jenny. “Do a craft project, bake and decorate a cake, get out the paddling pool and have water fight in the garden.” And if it’s all getting too much? “A little extra screen time isn’t the end of the world — watch a film” (with snacks, of course).

Here’s a simple cake recipe you can make if you can get the ingredients locally. 

Thankfully, we're able to get most things we need for the kitchen – so we're fully equipped for pie downs and pizza parties.
It's great when your fire doubles up as a stove. Boiling water is always on hand for a cuppa when lockdown gets a bit too much.

6. Treasure the simple things

Mary* finds it helpful to take pleasure in the little things — not having to set an alarm clock, sitting in the garden without her headscarf (perhaps not such a treat in the UK), playing her music just a little bit louder than she normally would. “Have a pyjama day!” she says. “Start the crochet or knitting that’s been in the bag since last summer, watch the DVD you’ve been saving, cook that thing you’ve been putting off because it takes too long… ”

Enjoying the beauty that’s around us and taking time to notice the simple things that bring us joy are great ways to pass this time in lockdown.

7. Remember that this isn’t forever

It’s horrible not knowing when this will all be over. This is not an easy time for anyone. It’s heartbreaking not being able to see loved ones, reading reports of rising death tolls, and maybe even losing people we love to Coronavirus. And while we grieve, and while we try to make the most of this time, it’s important to remember that life won’t always be like this.

“Remember that it really won’t go on forever. Life does not look like this forevermore… ” says Rose. And Ruby agrees. “‘This too shall pass.’ We will get through this and what’s more I pray we are stronger on the other side.”

I hope these tips help you as you continue staying home for the time being. And if nothing else, that they give you an insight into the lives of some of the people you support when you give to and pray for BMS. When they’re not on lockdown (and actually a lot of the time when they are on lockdown) they’re working incredibly hard too! I’ve seen it first-hand! Show them some love today by liking this story.

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Want to find out about the life-transforming work you’re supporting in Afghanistan? Read some of our Afghanistan stories today!

Words by Jessica*

*All names changed for security reasons