Walking with God in the dark
In a cave in July 1900, hiding from a band of rebels, Bessie Renaut wrote these words: “We would rather walk with God in the dark than alone in the light.”
This is the story of one woman who walked with God throughout her short life, displaying a trust and faith to inspire us today.
In her late 20s, Bessie Renaut – a Sunday school teacher from Leytonstone, London – began to feel restless and increasingly conscious of the call of God to go to the lost. She took action and offered her services to the Baptist Zenana Mission (BZM). On her application to the BZM Committee, she wrote with characteristic self-deprecation:
"For some time I have been thinking of foreign mission work, and wondering whether it is God’s will for me. I have been praying about it, and have come to the conclusion
that I should at least offer myself to the Society as I have to God, and then trust him to make my way clear or block it according to his will. I am not applying because I think I have the ability – in fact, the want of it has almost kept me back, but I know God can and does use the weakest instruments for his work. "
China
Bessie was accepted by the Committee, and in answer to the earnest appeal for women missionaries in the province of Shanxi (Shansi) in north China, she set sail for the country in September 1899. The appeal describing the situation read:
" …the position of Shansi, its accessibility, the conditions of life, the peaceable habits of the people, all render the province a highly suitable field for women workers; while the fact of its being an opium-smoking province makes the necessity of the work among women terrible and pressing. The men, who are gradually coming out and breaking off the thraldom of opium, are in many cases hindered and thrown back by the habits of their wives and mothers."
Bessie knew she had been called to one of the most difficult tasks in mission work, but the work showed promising signs, and her letters home were full of brightness and inspiration. In Xinzhou, she felt that she was in the right place, and wrote in March 1900:
"It is just six months today since I left England, which perhaps makes me think more than usual of those last home days, but I am so glad that on the whole I feel less ‘home-sick’ than I did at school, or later, at Glasgow, though these separations were only for a few months at a time. This feeling of contentment cannot now be due to variety and change, as a few weeks in one place, however strange, make it wonderfully familiar; and the greeting, ‘Yu wan, Yu wan,’ of the women and children as I pass up and down the street sounds quite as natural as ‘How do you do’ or ‘Good morning.’"
Tragedy
However, just a few months later – and less than a year after arriving in China – tragedy struck. In June 1900 the Boxer rebels came to Shanxi, determined to rid China of all things foreign, and the missionaries were forced to flee to the mountains. Bessie and her fellow missionaries were on the run for a month, the last two weeks spent in a cave in damp and bleak conditions, with very little food and water. There, Bessie kept a diary, hiding it in the cave.
Tragically, the mission workers were eventually captured, taken back to Xinzhou, and put in prison. On 9 August they were put into carts and transported towards the coast by military escort. However, at the gates of the city a company of Boxers stopped the procession; the missionaries were dragged from the carts, stripped, and beheaded. Eight missionaries were killed that day.
Letters
Later on, Bessie’s diary was recovered from the cave. A series of letters were found enclosed, and they leave Bessie to finish her story in her own words:
3 July 1900 Dear Father and all loved ones, We do not know today whether we shall soon be in glory; if we are we are ready – do not grieve; you will see… a piece of diary all about it. My love to all. God has and is being good to us. The people in this village are splendid, and say we shall not be taken by the soldiers.
13 July 1900 Dear Miss Angus, You will know our circumstances from the diary in which this is enclosed. Give my love to the Committee. We have food enough for a few days and water for two; the nearest is a mile of difficult climb, but the gentlemen will try for it if we are left so long. We have heard almost certain tidings of the execution of all our friends at Tai Yuen – all Mrs Farthing’s dear children and many others… God is helping us; he has given us wonderful strength and sure-footedness for hard climbing. China’s Christians are splendid. Lui Chia Shan villagers have risked their lives for us, and now have had to flee from their village without food and money. All our servants are faithful. With love to all.
18 July 1900 This is our twentieth day. Rescue can come soon. God grant it may! But we have often said we would rather walk with God in the dark than alone in the light, and now we can prove God our sincerity. He is making us willing. Oh, may he give you all grace to say his will is best! In prayer for you all. Love to all dear friends.
